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Lance and Donna

Month: January 2023

Pull My Finger

Posted on January 10, 2023January 31, 2023

Pull my finger. Memories of my grandfather, who was a bit of a prankster, flooded back to me as I recalled the first time he ‘pulled’ that gag on me. A flatulent gag steeped in tradition.

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Potential Side Effects

Posted on January 10, 2023January 31, 2023

If you watch any TV, at some point, you will see an advertisement for a pharmaceutical drug to help with an ailment. The ads always show a montage of couples or families enjoying life together, laughing, riding bikes, or having a nice meal. As this montage of happiness is candy for the eyes, the narrator lists a litany of potentially serious side effects that this miraculous drug may cause.

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What Did I Forget

Posted on January 10, 2023January 31, 2023

You know that feeling when you walk into a room and forget why? You might stand there for a few minutes trying to remember why it was that you entered the room.

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Short Bald and Fat

Posted on January 9, 2023January 31, 2023

Short, bald, and fat

How the hell did I get like that?

I was once a “strapping young lad”

Now a third of the energy 

I once had

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Life Under Care

Posted on January 9, 2023January 31, 2023

I wake up early Before the Sun  Lay quiet in bed But my day has begun I take my meds Three times a day  One hour before meals  Just like the pamphlets say I watch the news Of escalating crime Or play some cards To pass the time Then after lunch  It’s time for a…

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Lawn

Posted on January 9, 2023January 31, 2023

Every neighborhood has one grumpy old man screaming at the children to get off his lawn. As a child, I have had the experience of the crabby old neighbor that yelled “Get off my lawn” at everyone.

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I’m Freaking Old

Posted on January 9, 2023January 31, 2023

They say getting old ain’t for sissies, but you have to admit, it beats the alternative. “I ain’t ready to check out yet!”

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No Time to Waste

Posted on January 9, 2023January 31, 2023

My jet-black hair

Is now silver gray 

At least what’s left 

of it anyway

Party all night long

Is what I’ve said 

But now by nine o’clock 

I’m ready for bed

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(51) Making of a Circus

Posted on January 6, 2023January 31, 2023

The Factory We rode down to Eilat with Peter, Karen, baby Jade, and a few others in their “Blue Whale” 508 Mercedes. The place we were directed to organize the circus was owned by a nice couple, Harvey and Mimi, who hoped to build a community there. It was a huge cement structure that could…

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