No Time to Waste

My jet-black hair

Is now silver gray 

At least what’s left 

of it anyway

Party all night long

Is what I’ve said 

But now by nine o’clock 

I’m ready for bed

     After years of beers 

     And party cheers

     I’m larger than before 

     My skinny leather biker gear

     Don’t fit me anymore 

         I’m a

         Rocker Roller 

         Walker stroller 

         Walmart greeter 

         Death cheater

         Living past my 

         “Use by date”

         Crank up the jams

         ‘Cause I don’t have time to waste!

         Time to waste!

         No time to waste!

I take lots and lots 

of different drugs each day

They don’t get me high

I really hate to say

My chiropractor tells me

My head banging days are done

And the ringing in my ears

Really isn’t much fun

   So let’s get this party started

   Kick it into overdrive 

   One thing I know for sure

   No one gets out of here alive

         I’m a 

         Rocker Roller 

         Walker stroller 

         Walmart greeter 

         Death cheater

         Old age 

         Is my new rage

         I ain’t living

         In a freaking cage

         Living past my 

         “Use by date”

          Crank up the jams

         ‘Cause I don’t have time to waste!

         Time to waste!

         Time to waste!

Elderly Heavy Metal

I came up with a fantasy of what an elderly heavy metal rocker would feel like and just went with it. I imagined the band touring nursing homes, setting up Marshal stacks and a giant sound system in the dining room like they were playing huge coliseums. The tour would be well attended by all the old, deaf rockers now living in the nursing homes. At first, I thought the name of the band would be Sciatica, but I found there was already a defunct band by that name. In fact, several defunct bands by that name! Then the perfect name came to me, Arthritica!