A true story…
Three nights after Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
we already caught the mouse
The dog was on the porch
on his mat of a bed
as visions of hunting frogs
danced in his head
Ma doesn’t wear a kerchief
I don’t wear a cap
but we were all snuggled in
for a long winter’s nap
When out on our lawn
there arose a strange clatter
So I sprang to my feet
to see what was the matter
I threw open the window
and turned on my flashlight
and spotted a calf
running off to the right
without putting on clothes
I ran out the door
Only to discover
there were a couple more
Three cows in all
trying to eat all they see
so I chased after these cows
Just as naked as could be
I yelled out for the mrs.
To grab a light too
and head them off
‘fore they grabbed more to chew
around and around
the house they were dashing
Me chasing behind
quite obviously flashing
She headed them off
And they ran as if on fire
then they jumped through the fence
right through the barbed wire
And they heard me exclaim
as they ran out of site
“And stay out of my yard!
Or you’ll be burgers next night!”