Turtle Stew

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Shootin’ the heads off turtles,

As they stick ‘em up out of the pond.

Ain’t no fish,  left in there,

Turtles ate them all, every one!

Lets go pick up what we can,

Tell you what I’m gonna do,

Toss ‘em all right in the pot,

And cook a mess of that Turtle Stew.

Hand me down my banjo,

And I’ll call a tune for you.

Just follow what I’m doin’,

It ain’t so hard to do.

Bootleg whiskey,

Like clear water flows,

Jump up an dance a reel,

Until that ol’ cock crows.

Tried to count up all the turtles,

Along with one of my friends.

We’ve got so many of them,

We’ll never go hungry again.

Turtles in the freezer,

Turtles in the skillet, too.

But my favorite way, 

At the end of the day,

Is a mess of that Turtle Stew!

I make the used shells into lampshades,

And an occasional ashtray or two, 

Guitar picks, and pick up sticks,

And amazing things I build using glue.

One time I got real creative,

And made a pair of turtle skin shoes.

But at the end of the day,

I like to make my way,

To a pot of that Turtle Stew!

This is a true story! I went out to a friend’s house way out in the country in the Tennessee hills. It was beautiful woodlands with a big pond. Suddenly my friend hands me a rifle and says, “We’re going hunting.” I asked what we were hunting, and he said, “You’ll see.” So, I just followed along and we settled in on one side of the pond just waiting. Then he says, “There’s one!” and pops off a round. “What, where?” I said. “You see them little turtle heads sticking up over there? They done eat all the fish outta this here pond, so’s I figure if I can’t eat fish, I’ll eat me some turtles!” So that afternoon we ‘bagged’ about 10 or 15 turtles, cracked them open, threw ’em in a pot with a bunch of vegetables, and made a delicious stew. I fantasized about what all you could make with the shells but with a belly full of turtle, I never got around to trying. We did make some music though and had a great time.